


Thanks to You

by areyouanangel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29251635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyouanangel/pseuds/areyouanangel
Summary: As an underground orphan, you can pinpoint the exact moment you should have died. Thanks to the antics of a boy not much older than you, you were able to live to see another day. Gone before you could say thank you, you've spent your childhood determined to make your second chance at life count for something. Now, thanks to antics of your own- you finally get the chance to confront him, as he stands before you, your Capitan.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi Ackerman & Reader
Kudos: 24





	1. A Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I'd really like to say thank you to everyone who read the first little tidbit of "Tense". I promise I have not abandoned that! I'm fully caught up with the show and my brain has chosen to have me completely fixate on another that I accidentally came up with in a dream. I would like to preface this with I have not read the Manga (I would like to though) and apologize if the world building is inconsistent with what we canonically know. Also, this is my first time writing in 2nd person, reader fanfiction AND my first legitimate attempt at smut. I'm trying my best but please don't hold back any criticism (be kind if you can though!).

/8 years ago, in the Underground/

It was the first time in your life you had ever truly been scared. Which is probably a bit odd considering the only world you’d ever known was the Underground. But when you’re surrounded by drunkards, thieves, and… people you’d prefer not to even let enter your mind, a tough exterior is needed if you want to see tomorrow. You can’t remember when you figured that out, the knowledge that the world will devour you given the chance seems to have resonated inside you from your earliest memories. It wasn’t skill, it was a way of life. An orphan of the underground either lives to see the sky, or they die. At least, that’s what you told yourself. And to your credit, acting that way had never given you too much of a problem. Getting your hands dirty never made you hesitate, you would steal and fight if you had to, because you knew that your advisories more likely than not hands less clean that yours anyway.

Until one day, when you bit off way more than you could chew. It was a reckless move, even in your young age of 10 you recognized that. But you were so hungry. So, so, indescribably hungry and desperate. You hadn’t eaten in at least seven or eight days- you assume, because your grasp on time had disappeared. You’d starved before, but never like this. You knew if you didn’t find food soon, you’d be too weak to look, and you certainly could not rely on the mercy of those around you to take up that task and find food for you. As you remember it, it was either this or death. The supply cart was right there, totally unguarded. You couldn’t see much, but you knew there was food, you could smell it- fresh bread, for sure, and god, was that cooked meat? You could have toppled over at the mere idea of it. You didn’t remember what meat actually tasted like, but the smell of it made your mouth water all the same. Crouched behind a cobblestone wall just a meter away, you knew you had to make your move now and fast. 

Without giving yourself the time to talk your mind out of it, you were making a dash- as fast as your weak body could, to covered cart. You slipped through the canvas canopy and reveled at the sight waiting for you inside. The spread was incredible. Cooked meat indeed; and bread, sweets, fresh fruit- you’d never known food could come in so many colors. You didn’t hesitate. You strutted straight over a dark brown roast that smelled heavenly and began tearing pieces off with your fingers. It was absolutely divine. You remembered hearing how those above ground worshipped and gave thanks to an unseen force, and for the first time you understood why. If this is how they ate up there, you would be thanking the kind world every chance you got. Stuffing your mouth as you went, you filled your brown, tattered, oversized coat with all you could fit. You would feast for days. And just as you were about to congratulate yourself for the genius and grit it took for this plan to succeeded- you feel the wind from the canopy opening and the wooden creak of someone much larger than you stepping inside. 

Before you can even turn to face whoever had caught you, you’re being lifted by the collar of that same brown coat. All the food you gathered falls as you’re dragged across the floor and thrown onto the hard cobblestone street outside. “So” the voice is booming behind you, it echo’s, though that might just be an effect of the concussion you surely had from the hard hit your head took against the street. “Somebody was hungry, huh?” your vision clears, and you turn over to see a man, large and intimidating, in clothes nicer than what you were used to seeing, towering above you. “I- I’m sor-” before you can attempt an apology, a heavy boot is brought down onto your tiny chest, forcing you flat against the pavement. 

“Sorry?” the way he says it is cruel, how he smiles through the word. “Another underground rat trying to rob the hardworking people of this world for their spoils”. At this point, the commotion has caused a crowd to form around you, though none dare step into help. Not that you were expecting them to, because you have a decent idea of who the boot that’s crushing you belongs to now. How stupid could you have been? How had hunger driven you to lack all basic competency? There’s only one reason food such as that would ever roll its way into the dirty corridors of the Underground, and now you were face to face with one of the most dangerous men your home had known. You didn’t know much, but you understood that the crime circuits that run the underground had a hierarchy of their own of sorts. And here he was, the so-called leader of the ring himself. 

You struggled to slip out from under his weight, maybe if you hadn’t been in such a condition you could have, not that you’d have gotten to far anyway, but still. As it was, your struggle seemed useless, you were only wearing yourself out more. “A whore’s daughter like you, no doubt, could prove to be useful. But” he clicked his teeth, “you’re near death anyway, so dirty that I don’t think a swim in a fresh stream from above could even clean you up, as it were.” You closed your eyes, but you knew what the metallic clicking you heard above you signified. “Besides, one shouldn’t be rewarded with work after committing such heinous crimes and disrespect. If anything, think of it as mercy. You’ll never know hunger again.” 

Gasps from the crowd be dammed, you knew there wasn’t any help coming. You knew you weren’t getting out of this one. You waited for it, and hoped it was as quick and painless as grown-ups talked about it being. You waited and waited. When you felt the weight of his foot lift off you, and the pin-drop silence of those around you, you assumed you were dead. Opening your eyes, you were shocked to see that you were in fact in the exact same place. The man was no longer hovering over you, however. You turn your head to the right to see stunned faces staring, but not at you, at something behind you. Your head turns in the direction of their stares, and you’re greeted with the face that had just nearly taken your life, expressionless lying next to you. That’s when you notice the blood. On you, next to you, and coming from his throat. You scream, involuntarily, as your weary brain begins to piece together what happens. You throw yourself backwards, trying to put as much distance between you and the body as possible, when your back bumps into something, no, someone. You look up to see stark silver eyes staring back down at you- their expression hard to read, but you don’t feel as if it’s malicious. “Hey” his voice is soft and calm, how can he be calm? “Are you alright?” 

He reaches a hand downwards towards you, and you accept the offering. He’s taller than you, and bit older, a teenager at least. Jet black hair harshly contrast his pale skin, freckled in scars both new and recent. “What kind of idiot are you to try to steal from Kuver?” He says, his tone a lot less harsh than his words. You go to respond when you feel your throat dry up, spotting what’s in his other hand. He sees you eyeing the blood covered knife and gives a light chuckle. “To be fair, it was you or him.” You stare aimlessly back up at the boy. Why would he stick his neck out for you- you didn’t know him, you’re sure of it? And more importantly, how did he manage to kill him?

Just as you’re about to open your mouth, you think to thank him, you hear the yells behind you. “What the hell happened here?!” you turn towards the voice and notice several more men, large and dressed as dapper as the dead man next to your feet, heading in your direction. They did not look happy. “Tch. Look at the mess you got me in, runt” the boy says to you, looking onwards at the men as they get closer to the scene. You still can’t get over how calm and composed he’s kept himself. Is he not scared? He’s a bit older and marginally bigger than you, but certainly not by enough to take down the parade of hilariously intimidating men who look ready to kill whatever twerp was responsible for the death of their leader. 

“Get out of here” he says, giving the knife in his left hand a twirl, wiping the blood off with the sleeve of his black coat. “But- I, are you gonna-?”

“Did you hear me kid or what?” He gives you a slight nudge. “You got a slim chance of getting away here, you better take it.” 

The men were at the cart, and your instinct kicked in. Without another word you ran off as fast as your scrawny legs could take you, running through alleyways, taking every new turn of direction you could to try to put as much distance between you and the men. You didn’t stop until you were at the very edge of the city, resting in a mostly drained sewer looking out over the rest of the Underground. Only then did the guilt approach you. 

That boy, he had to be dead. Maybe he got lucky with the first man, but there’s no way he survived everyone else. A stranger you didn’t know was dead because you made a terrible call and for whatever reason, the idiot decided to help you. And the worst part of it all? You didn’t get any food. You were still going to starve to death in this sewer despite that kids’ efforts, but thanks to you, two people would be dead instead of just one. Three if you count the man, Kuver, as you recall the boy calling him- not that you feel sympathy, but still. 

At that point, all you could do was accept your fate. You rested your exhausted body against the edge of the sewer and let your eyes close. This is probably the shittiest way you could imagine yourself going out- pun intended, because you’re going to die anyway, you might as well die laughing. You’re thoroughly taking by surprise when your eyes do open the next day (you think- it’s impossible to gage how long it’s been, especially without the sun to let you know) and see a small wrapped parcel placed next to you. 

Your eyes widen when you open it and see what it is. Meats, bread, fruit- the ones from the cart. Someone there saw, and someone found you- but who? There was no way of knowing for sure, but your gut had a feeling. A smile broke out, even bigger than the one you made when you first saw the beautiful, glorious food in the cart for the first time. The boy, somehow, miraculously, against all odds, made it. He survived, and found you, and made sure you did too. 

How strange, to be given such kindness.


	2. Not in Vain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From one hell to another, freedom from the underground isn't everything it was promised to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! Thank you for your patience with my slow uploading. This chapter is all about [y/n]! I hope the exposition makes for an interesting character that you can enjoy seeing yourself in. Sorry for the lack of Levi, but I promise you that'll be very well compensated for very soon. Also please note I've aged up characters / age requirements for the sake of this fiction. 
> 
> I'll be uploading 3 times a month from now on! 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! Please stay safe and healthy out there, I hope you enjoy!

/5 years ago, Wall Maria/

Something about that day lit a fire within you. Something about the strength of the boy, the selflessness he showed you in helping you… it made you determined to get out. Leave the underground and make a place in the world for yourself. You should have died, but you didn’t. You were given a second chance and you needed to make it worthwhile. 

Leaving the underground was no easy task, especially not for a young girl. The sum needed to cross the stairs was more than many adults you knew made in a year. The challenge was insurmountable, but your determination to see the sky was stronger. You sacrificed more of yourself than you’d ever dare speak aloud ever to anyone. You only allowed brief moments of reflection at night when you would gaze at the alleyway leading upwards and remind yourself what you were doing it all for. 

You were fifteen when you saw the sky for the first time. You tasted fresh air and felt the breeze cut your cheeks. The guards were skeptical to accept your payment, a teenaged underground rat with that much cash on hand was enough for anyone to be suspicious. Ultimately, they had nothing to hold against you, and let you pass through. You couldn’t put into word how bright the sun was. You heard how they talked about it, how it was so large and yellow. How it was made of fire and burned people’s skin if you stayed out under it too long. The image in your head that had been forming all these years paled in comparison to the real thing. 

You had very little money left after paying your fee, but you had a plan. You were going to take the ferry to Wall Maria and travel to their outer district. You didn’t know much of the outside world, but you knew the closer to the outer walls you were, the cheaper it was to live. The only chance you had in making it above ground would be to find work and lodgings in the outlier district. Nothing about that bothered you. You figured the poorest conditions above ground were still better than the best you could have gotten had you never left. 

The water appeared even more blue than the sky above you. It took a considerable amount of restraint to not jump in just to see how cool and clean it must feel. Settling yourself against the back ledge of the boat, arms resting lazily just over the edge, you took a deep breath in and smiled. You had finally made it. You were out. Today was the first day of the life you’d always dreamed about. 

////

It took a few strained, dust-filled breaths to fully register that you were still alive. Your body laid sprawled out the cobblestone road, flushed against a brick building that seemed to be quickly losing structural integrity. Your chest and limbs screamed at you as you struggled to sit up and lean against the brick behind you. It all happened so fast, it’s hard to piece together what was actually happening. What happened? As you try and think back you begin to absorb your surroundings. _Screaming. Why is everyone screaming?_ You watched, confused, as people stampeded by, clutching one another, crying, and screaming screaming screaming.  
Then you felt something wet and warm falling down onto you. Wait, no, not rain. You look down at your arms and see specks of red dripping down them. That’s when the realization hits you. You slam your body back into the wall in shock, a sharp cry escaping your throat involuntarily.

**Blood. It was raining blood.**

You fought back the urge to vomit and forced yourself to look above and try to find the source of blood. You pale immediately at the sight before you. Huge, ugly, empty eyes staring down at you. In one hand, half a body, the other half most likely inside the Titans closed chewing mouth. The other hand reaching down for you. 

Your instincts finally kick in. Pretending not to notice how your legs shook, you stood and jumped out of the way a mere seconds before the Titan would have clenched his beastly hand around you. There was no time to think about your next move, you simply began to run. You heard thunderous footsteps following behind you, but you would not give it the satisfaction of looking back. You kept your eyes forward, trying to find a route to safety. 

You’d had done your fair share of running away, but for every 30 steps you take, the titan behind you reached the same distance in one. If you wanted to get out of this alive, you weren’t going to outrun it. You’d need to find another way to get out of its line of sight. You took a sharp turn left the first chance you got, leading you into a narrow alleyway. The titan was not deturbed. It followed your tracks, crashing into the stone buildings that formed the alley you were running down, sending heavy debris flying towards you. 

_Okay bad move bad move bad move_ you cursed yourself internally, narrowly dodging the flying stones hurdling towards you. As much as you didn’t want to be exposed, at this rate the rubble from the destruction was just as likely to kill you as the Titan itself. Up ahead you saw an open shop door to your right and took a gamble that it would have a back exit that would lead you out of the alley. Praying you put enough distance between you and the beast, you dive through the door and begin looking for an exit. 

It was a tavern, clearly. Cups and plates still sat on the tables exactly how the patrons must have left them before they ran for their lives in terror. Your heart drops to your stomach when you realize that all that lies ahead of you is a solid wall with no window or door to offer your escape. The building shook violently, you knew the Titan that was chasing you was still on your scent, knocking down the buildings behind you as he quickly approached. You looked between the door you entered from and a set of wooden stairs towards the back. Would it be better to go out into the alley, or hope that an upper level had a window? 

The choice as made for you as grey stone flew past the entrance, essentially sealing it off from escape. You raced up the stairs and barged through the wooden door that stood between you and the upstairs room. Thankfully, it was unlocked. The room had furnishings, a bed and cabinets. Most likely the living quarters of whoever owned the tavern below. Whoever lived there was nowhere to be found. 

You audibly laugh with joy when you see the small, square window at the back of the room. Going to it and looking out, you realize you’re higher than you thought you would be. _Doesn’t matter, I’m a good jumper_ you tried to assure yourself. There was a bridge not but a few feet away from the window, just below you. That would be your target. You perched yourself on the ledge and pushed off with all of your strength. Your body hit the bridge with a rough thud, sending you tumbling nearly towards the edge. You ignore the loud snap your arm makes on impact and how it then turns suspiciously numb. 

There isn’t time to recuperate, the Titan spotted you as soon as you flew out the window. You held your arm against your body with the other and got to your feet to resume running. You speed by a man who caught your attention due to his calmness and dress robes. He seemed to be chanting some sort of prayer, and walked by you as though you didn’t exist, directly towards the bridge you were escaping. Coming to an understanding all at once, you halt your pace and turn back to him to yell out and warn him. You wish you hadn’t. All you see upon looking back is the odd man screaming his last words as your pursuer gobbles him up. 

Pushing down the guilt, you took advantage of the grim opportunity the man provided you. He distracted the Titan enough to allow you to escape. You didn’t see any other titans directly around you, but you knew they couldn’t be too far away. But now what? Where do you go from here? 

You hesitate for just a moment, cradling your limp arm. You don’t know where you are, you had just gotten here. There had been no time to get your bearings of this place. Did they have plans for something like this? Was there an escape route? Tears began to swell up in your eyes as your breathing quickened. _You didn’t know. You’re a sad, lost child about to get eaten by a devil on your first day of freedom. This isn’t fair this isn’t fair this isn’t fair_

A strong grasp on your shoulder pulls you from your panic. A tall, middle aged man with sunken eyes and red hair had hold of you. He was wearing an orange jacket with a shield and roses decorating it. Military you thought. 

“Hey, kid! There isn’t time for that! Come on!” He pushes you forward, and you begin to run alongside him. “Wh-where?” Is all you are able to get out. “Where do you think?! The gate! Before it closes!”

Then it clicks. Of course. Titans breached Shiganshina, but that doesn’t mean they broke through Maria. That was the whole point of the walls and having an outlier district, right? “Are we close?” you huff out between breaths. He looks down at you and raises an eyebrow, and you realize that as “a resident of Shiganshina”, you should probably know where the gate was. Thankfully, he doesn’t call you on it, and you hope he thinks that the pain and fear have fogged your mind. He nods, quickening his pace. You find yourself actually struggling to match him, and he notices. “We’re almost there, but you can’t get lazy on me now. Keep up."

It’s not easy, but soon enough you see the opening in the distance. For the first time since you were knocked into that wall, you feel hopeful that you’re going to make it out of this place alive. The sight gives your body that final dose of adrenaline meant to carry you to safety. The joy dissipates when you feel the ground shake under your feet. Before you can turn around and look, the soldier is no longer beside you, but pinned under a pile of wood and stone that flew at him from a house to his right. Instead of being trapped with him, the impact of the rock on the ground throws you forward and out of harm’s way. The man looks at you, looking as afraid as you had when he found you. He reached his hand out towards you. “Quick! Pull me out!” he cries towards you. 

You walk over to him and grab his outstretched hand, pulling as hard as you can with your one working arm. “I’m sorry” you cry out, trying to dedicate the little strength you had left. “My other arm! It’s broken!” you grit out as you see the terror build up in his eyes. The Titan responsible for the debris was meandering her way towards the scene. She was even taller than the one you had managed to escape. “Hurry!” the man screams at you, his voice scratchy and desperate. “Can you pull yourself forward at all?” you ask, knowing there was no way you would get this man out of with the strength of your one arm. He strains himself, trying to wiggle his way out, but is unsuccessful. You grab his arm once again and resume your pulling, but you can’t help but notice the how the Titan was about to be right on top of you two. 

You turn your head to look at the gate. It was so close. You were so closing to safety. To living. “Please” the man pleads “you can do this, pull me out, don’t leave me!” Your breath hitches in your chest. The titan was there. There was nothing you could do. **There was nothing you could do**

Without realizing you made the decision; you drop the man’s hand. “I’m sorry” you look him in the eyes as you say it- you owed him that much. “I’m so, so sorry” you say once more, and turn around and begin heading towards the gate. You hear his cries behind you as you flee, begging you to come back. Then a crunch, and silence. 

_I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry_ you keep repeating it as you run through the gate. Inside Wall Maria, others who’ve reached the gate are gathered by the same ferries that took you here just a few days ago. 

///

Once you reached the inside of Wall Rose, you were guided towards a makeshift hospital that they had set up in the little time they had between the news the wall had been breached and when refugees began arriving. A woman helped make a splint and bandage your arm, which you were assured would heal despite the broken bone inside of it. She gave you a piece of bread before ushering you out, needing to free up the bed for the multitude of wounded civilians that continued to pour in through the gate. 

You shoved the bread in your pocket and aimlessly wandered out, trying to find some secluded area to rest. You were tired. You were numb. You settled in against a low stone wall, closer to the edge of massive city you were brought to, away from the cries and chaos that came from Wall Maria. The scenes from the day racked your mind. The blood rain. The odd man. _The look in the soldier’s eyes as you abandoned him to die_. 

That last thought sent a wave of dizziness through you. You brought your knees up to your chest and rested your forehead on them. What could you have done differently? It was either you left or died with him. You had done some unspeakable things underground in the past, but this was different. This man saved you. You wouldn’t have found the gate in time without his guidance. He saved you and you couldn’t do the same for him. You didn’t even know his name. 

All those years scrounging and sacrificing to get up here, just for it to be ripped away from you. You went from being an underground rat to a refugee. What was it all for? You bit down on your lip in frustration, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. _It’s like I’m cursed_ you chuckled at yourself. You led that first Titan to the odd man. You brought the solider to his death. Wall Maria stood for a hundred years and the day you get there, it falls. Maybe you should just throw yourself off the top of a building and save anyone else from the trouble you seem to effortlessly bring people. 

Then a memory that you hadn’t thought of for a long time flickered through your mind. Starving underground. Staring death in the face. That boy who saved you. The package of food left for you the next day. 

No. You wouldn’t give up on that second chance yet. You thought instead of how much needed to go just exactly right to keep you alive to this moment. It had to be for something. And even if it wasn’t part of some grand, divine plan for you, you would make sure that you would make something of all these extra chances you’ve been given. For the solider, and the odd man, and that boy. 

You’d pay back for the lives you risked and took. You’d fight for them the way they fought for you. 

///

“And how old are you?” The dark brown eyes bore into you, enlistment sheet in hand as she continued with her questions. 

“15” you state, feigning confidence.

“Where are you from?”

“Shiganshina” 

At this, the recruiter hesitated. “I see. And your family?”

“Lost the day the wall fell” you tried to make it seem as though the words hurt to say. 

“I’m very sorry for your loss” the recruiter responded, with sincerity that made you feel guilty for your lie. You gave her a small nod of appreciation, “thank you, ma’am.” 

You had a feeling there were supposed to be more questions asked, but the recruiter flipped over her paper and handed you her inked pen. “Sign your first and last name here, then” her words were professional, but her smile was kind and soft. You took the pen from her hand and signed your first and last name (something that nobody underground had ever had the luxury of knowing). 

You set the pen down and looked back at the solider, waiting for your next instruction. “Congratulations recruit” she pointed towards a group of people behind her, all seemingly close to your age. “Go over to your new comrades, we’ll be leaving in the carriages shortly.” 

It was the first day of what would end up being a very long 3 years.


End file.
